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April 11th, 2009

09:06 pm
Gettin' Hassled by the Man!

Hey everybody. I'm just chillin' and watching the Thunder on TV and figured I'd drop in with a note. I really have nothing too exciting to talk about, but maybe I'll come up with something that's not a total waste of time.

Speaking of wasting time, have I mentioned that you can now follow meon Twitter? Yeah, I thought so. Seriously though. I am totally infatuated with Twitter. I'm following half a dozen former Star Trek actors. My inner geek is intrigued. I'm also following several athletes. It's all just so hilarious. I'll be so much more productive when the new wears off of Twitter for me.

Oh, I do have something kind of exciting to talk about. I got hassled by the man about my guide dog! Last night I went to the casino with Mom and my Aunt. I have been there at least a dozen times with Cinnabar and no one has ever batted an eyelash. But last night, I just happened to cross the path of an uninformed security guard. When we entered the casino, this security dude walked up to me and told me that it was OK for me to bring my dog into the casino but she couldn't go into any restaurants. So of course I pointed out to him that my dog was a service animal. He said, "yeah, I know, but she can't go into restaurants." So I said, "yes she can." Then I explained the law to him and he said,"Oh well I was told just today that service dogs weren't allowed in restaurants." I said, "well, you were told wrong." Then he was all apologetic and let me go on my way. When we got over to the restaurant, we were seated and no one said a word. Fortunately, it really wasn't that big of a deal, but it was kind of exciting to me just because I've never been denied access with Cinnabar or even gotten questioned about it too much. I really think this guy was just new and someone gave him bad information. He was very nice about it and really the whole thing was just kind of funny. It was the first time I've ever had to explain the law to anyone. It was a good test for me. I feel really good about how I handled it. I didn't get mad or freak out or anything so that's good to know that I can handle dealing with access issues without getting all emotional.

The rest of my casino visit was uneventful. The crab legs on the buffet were exceptionally good last night. They were cooked just right and were a little bigger than normal. I had no luck at the slots, but I did only lose $30 so that's not too bad. It was a fun way to kill a Friday night.

The other day, my dad called to ask me a totally random bathroom etiquette question. I was going to put this on Twitter, but I recently had several Tweets about farts and I don't want to give the impression that I am obsessed with farting and/or bathroom humor. I'm really not. It's just a coincidence that my dad proposed this question while I had the fart tweets going on Twitter. Anyway, as a public service, and because I have very strong opinions about bathroom etiquette, I will answer Dad's question here so that you may all benefit from my wisdom. So, here's the question: Is it ok for a dude to rip a fart while using a urinal in a public restroom when there is another dude at the next urinal? I say no. My rule of thumb is if it is possible to make eye contact with a stranger, then farting is off limits. If you're in a full stall, rip away but not at a urinal. This rule applies to all public places, not just restrooms. So, if you're in a store and you're the only person on an aisle, or even if there's a person at the opposite end of the aisle with their back turned, fart away. If there's eye contact, then clamp up and hold it in until a safe release can be made.

There you go. Mystery solved. So glad I could help. Wasn't that fun? Maybe I'll start a regular advice column pertaining solely to bathroom etiquette. Send me your questions. I am an authority on all things related to bathrooms. And if I don't have an adequate answer, I will consult with Lou and we will come up with a rule for you. Yeah, that would be awesome. I've been wanting to do some public service. I think I just found my calling.

Hmmm, I guess that's all I can think of for now. I think I'll post this and see what else I can find to do to waste a little more time before bed. Later.