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May 20th, 2005

08:27 am
You Saw Rhinos Doing What?

I went to the Redhawks game last night. The Hawks won 10-8 in an entertaining back and forth game. Sadly, the highlight of the evening was a lively discussion about rhino humping.... Yes I said rhino humping. See, there are a couple of chicks who have seats next to my parents. We've become friends with them over the years. Well, they had been to the zoo over the weekend when the rhinos happened to be feeling a bit frisky. The male with his 2 foot schlong dragging the ground was ready to go. The female wanted nothing to do with him so she ran down a hill. Undeterred, the male used his horn to push the female back up the hill then he did his thing. So, as my Dad observed, it was really rhino rape. Anyway, much giggling ensued. What made the whole thing even better was that our friends had bumped into Stan the Beer Man at the zoo right about that time and they all watched the rhino pron together. Dad called Stan and mentioned the zoo which launched Stan into an excited retelling of the rhino story. More giggling. We are so mature.

The chick who sang the national anthem sounded like Julia Child crossed with Hyacinth Bucket ("It's Bouquet..."). Needless to say, it was unpleasant. I giggled through the whole thing. I know I shouldn't do that because the lady was really trying. But I just couldn't help it. It was Hyacinth AND Julia Child all rolled into one. It's comedy gold. Or, maybe it's just a sign that I watch too much TV. Whatever. It was funny.