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August 3rd, 2004

03:01 pm

I was just in the restroom at work. There were 2 women in there talking about cutting their own hair. One of them said, "I used to cut my own hair all the time. I could even cut the hair in the back with no problem. Then someone told me that when you look in the mirror, everything you see is a reverse image. After hearing that, I couldn't cut my own hair anymore." OK, first, someone had to tell you that about mirrors? You never noticed that writing on your shirt was back-assward? How stupid are you? And secondly, this revelation has impaired your ability to cut your own hair? What the Hell! I don't even know what to say. I want to go find this woman and tell her that the right side of her body is actually controlled by the left half of her brain and vice versa just to see if she falls down and can't walk anymore. What a dumbass.

OK kids. It's fantasy football time. Once again, I have set up the AudreysAudities Fantasy Football league on Yahoo fantasy sports. You'll need a Yahoo account to sign up (free). Go here. Click on "Join existing custom or public league." Then click "Join custom league". The league ID is 242844. The password is "tulsa". Just follow the directions from there. It is not necessary that you have fantasy football experience; however, don't play unless you're going to stick with it all season. Fantasy football is best when everyone involved keeps up with their team throughout the season. All I'm asking is that you check your team at least once a week and attempt to put together the best starting roster possible. I don't want line ups full of injured guys or guys on teams that have a bye week. This league is just for fun. There's no prize involved. (Unless I change my mind and find something cool.) It's all about pride, bragging rights and trash talking. That reminds me. I love trash talking. The more the merrier. If you're a whiny little bitch with no sense of humor, please do not sign up. There is no crying in fantasy football. Those who choose to play must be willing to endure my wrath and the wrath of others. My team this year is the Phighting Phuknutz and I am looking forward to kicking everyone's ass... again.

OK, gotta run. This was a quick lunch update and I'm out of time. Have a lovely day!