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December 18th, 2003

01:46 pm

Well, the Texas Rangers are at it again. MLB's most ignorant management team is working on a big trade with the Red Sox - Alex Rodriguez for Manny Ramirez. Where do I begin to address the stupidity of such a deal? The Rangers need pitching, period. I have no idea why they're wasting their time trying to acquire an overpaid head case. It boggles the mind. I fully realize that their are few teams in baseball who can take on Rodriguez's salary thus limiting his tradeability. But for the love of God, please, please, PLEASE get some damn pitchers for him. I never understood why they gave him that big ass contract in the first place. If they wanted to spend some money, why not spend it on an ace pitcher? Rodriguez is a good player, no doubt. But he can't bring success to Texas by himself. It will never happen without a pitching staff. The Rangers have shown an inability to grow their own talent on the mound, so it's time to look elsewhere. It just kills me that the idiot Rangers got Rodriguez instead of going after Randy Johnson more seriously. If I remember right, Johnson was a free agent the same year as Rodriguez. Morons. I am just sick of the ineptitude of the Rangers front office.

Last night Stephanie and I went out on a marathon shopping spree to try to finish our Christmas shopping. It was a very successful trip. We went to the new Bass Pro Shop that opened here about a month ago. Man I love that store. They have the coolest stuff and reasonable prices too. It's just a spectacular store. One of the best shopping experiences of my life. I only wish we would have had more time there. We had lots of places to go so we had to get what we needed and get out. Even though there wasn't much time to look, I still managed to find a ton of stuff that I want. I love that store.

While we were at Bass Pro, Stephanie and I made a pit stop in the lovely public restroom. They have those psycho toilets with motion sensors that flush themselves. I'd just like to go on record as saying that self-flushing toilets suck. They really need to work out the kinks in the self-flushing technology. Last night while I was attending to my business, the crazy toilet flushed itself twice and in the process showered my ass with ice cold toilet water. I was really pissed off. I rarely encounter the self-flushing toilets that work properly. They either do the flush too soon, cold water up the ass routine or they won't flush at all and you're left hunting for the tiny manual flush button. There are some that either don't have the manual flush button or they are impossible to find, so I'm stuck with the shame of leaving the toilet unflushed. It's very traumatic, especially when there's someone waiting for the stall who goes right in and sees the unflushed toilet. I just have to peel out of there, head down and avoid eye contact while some random stranger heads in to the stall to gaze upon my waste. I simply have no need for those fancy self-flushing toilets. Are we as a society so lazy that we can't even flush a toilet anymore? It's total madness. I'll take a good old fashioned manual toilet any day, thank you very much.

And now for a new feature that I call Audrey Shares Too Much Information on AudreysAudities.com - Today I purchased a feminine hygene product from the machine in the ladies room at work. The machine malfunctioned and I got 3 for the price of one. Sweet! Ah, it's the little things in life... This concludes the first installment of Audrey Shares Too Much Information on AudreysAudities.com Wasn't that great?

We're having the big Christmas bash at work today. We have tons of food. The spread this year is exceptional - cheese dip, sausage balls, cheese, summer sausage type mystery meat, cakes, cookies, donut holes, some kind of green mystery dip and the list goes on and on. It's a plethora of holiday snack favorites. Yay! Holidays at work are great. It's an excuse to wear jeans and my Chuck Taylor All-Stars, there's free food and very little work gets done. It's spectacular.

That's it. I'm out of stuff to talk about. Later.