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November 1st, 2003

01:44 pm

That's it. I am officially declaring Noverber to be "catch -up month" for AudreysAudities.com. I will do my massive updates come Hell or high water. (What does that even mean? What a stupid saying. I can't believe I just used it. Is that even how that saying goes? If not, then I made myself look like an even bigger idiot - kinda like the time I was singing that Huey Lewis song "I want a new Drug" at the top of my lungs but I thought the words were "I want a new truck". Wow, did I ever look stupid.) Anyway... I will be discussing: the fair, the wedding, the honeymoon, TU football, the World Series, Halloween and a few random things that have been pissing me off. Stay tuned!

The fair - I went to the fair oh so many weeks ago with Randy, my parents and the whodinis. Like I mentioned, it did in fact rock. We ate a lot. The hot new food item at the fair this year was deep fried Twinkeis, Oreos and Snickers. When I read about it in the paper, I thought "What the Hell, that can't be good". After trying all three, all I can say is hooray for the deep fryer! Has there ever been a food that wasn't improved by deep frying? I can't think of any. Cheese, veggies, chicken - all better when fried. The parents and the Whodinis really liked the Oreos, but I've never been an oreo fan so I wasn't as impressed. I must confess, I did like fried Oreos better than non-fried Oreos. The twinkie was very tasty and the snickers, my personal favorite was totally bitch'n.

There was once again lots of beer consumption. "Nen the Intoxicated Friend" was less intoxicated this year and somehow managed to keep from molesting my Dad. But, still, things got a bit out of hand. This time around, it was Whodini who couldn't control his lust for my Dad. What the Hell is wrong with you people? Every time we go anywhere, one of you ends up molesting my Dad. I need therapy!

Later that week, Randy's Brother Terry and his wife Lois came into town for the wedding. They live in California and came a week before the wedding to visit all the family here. Randy and I wanted to go to the fair one more time, so we met Terry, Lois and some of Lois's family at the fair. My parents went too. There was a stupid ass haunted house type thing based on "The Mummy Returns". Terry and some of the others decided to go through it. Randy really wanted to go through this thing too. I definitely did not want to go. I freely admitt, I am a huge coward. I scare easy and the slightest noise can make me jump out of my skin. This is why I never whatch horror or suspense movies. My nerves just can't take it. I hate being startled. Randy whined and begged me to go with him and I told him to go without me. Just as he was about to give in, Dad made the suggestion that if I really loved Randy, I would sacrifice and go simply to make Randy happy. (Thanks a lot, Dad) Well, that left me with no choice but to go through the stupid thing. Oh man did that ever suck. Those bastards in costumes would jump out and scare me and I would jump and scream bloody murder. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. It was a total disaster for me. I nearly lost it. Near the end, there was a circle of these mummy creeps around Randy and I. They kept scaring the Hell out of me. I was acting like such a spaz that the costumed jerks were laughing. There was literally a mummy in front of me in plain sight who made a monster noise, I screamed, he laughed, then he scared me again and I screamed again. It was ridiculous. Randy was laughing so hard he could barely walk. I was so very pissed off. I really wanted to kick somebody's ass over this crap. I hate scary crap!!! But at least Randy had a good time. I sure hope that was sufficient proof of my love.

Ah, that's a god start to my catching up. I think it's best to get caught up one subject at a time. I don't want to overexert myself. I've already started the wedding update, so it should be up soon. Have a lovely day.