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July 11th, 2003

01:17 pm

My head hurts, my leg hurts and I am just generally cranky. This update should be loads of fun...

As a service to my loyal readers, I now present an AudreysAudities.com Consumer Alert AT&T Wireless's's next generation GSM service sucks. Well, at least it does in Oklahoma. Maybe it's better in major cities. Oklahoma City is just a mid-major city, kinda like TU basketball. It wants to be thought of as a major, but it's just not there yet. Anyway, my experience with the service was that it was not even close to being as reliable as AT&T digital service. I had no service outside the metro area and I even lost service in buildings where I would've had a full signal with digital. The sound quality was much better, but if you've got no service to get a call out then clear sound is useless. So after a week of trying out GSM, I switched back to digital. This concludes the AudreysAudities.com Consumer Alert.

Well, that was fun. I am so very cranky. I just want to go to sleep.

All this talk on the news about that big lottery jackpot has me once again longing for a lottery in Oklahoma. It has come up for vote so many times and gets shot down because the morality police get super-organized and spoil all the fun for us gambling-loving heathens. Sometimes living in the Bible belt can be a big pain in the ass. How will I ever win the lottery and enjoy my dream life of complete laziness if I don't have a lottery to play? Yeah, I could drive to another state, but that's too much work.

I really feel like crap. (Damn I'm whiney.)

Those bonehead concession people at the ballpark fired Stan, the World's greatest berr man. It's all a big load of crap. And yeah, I don't even like beer - but it still sucks. The concessions supervisor is all pissed off because Stan went to the Ford Center and sold beer at a Fleetwood Mac concert with a bigger crowd and more tips, instead of selling at the ballgame where there were about 2,000 people in the stands. Concessions at both venues are contracted out to the same company (SMG), but apparently each venue has a its own manager. Both venues wanted Stan so he chose the gig with more money. You can't really blame him for that. I suppose if you look at it from a business perspective, Stan kind of deserved to be fired. As I understand it, his primary obligation is to the ballpark and he was told to be there. But screw that. Stan is a beer vending legend. He deserves more room for error than the average beer man. The concessions at the ballpark suck as it is and Stan was the only good thing they had going. Now he's gone. I'm going to boycott all Redhawk concessions until Stan is rehired - even on dollar dog night. Boycotts are so much fun!!! Personally, I think they'd be better off rehiring him. He has quite a following at the Brick and it seems to me they'd sell more beer with him in the stands. Why sacrifice revenue over a silly little squabble like this. BRING BACK STAN!!!

And since I'm on the topic of ballpark concessions... there's a real creepy guy that sells cotton candy at the Brick. His sales pitch is "Sugar on a stick - yum yum get you some". Now maybe I'm just a pervert, but that line seems to be rather suggestive to me. Especially when you throw in the creepy tone of voice he uses. It really sounds like a sleazy line you'd hear from some desperate loser in a bar. Or even worse, a child molester trying to lure in an unsuspecting kid. So last night I just couldn't take it anymore. I've been listening to this all season and its driving me crazy. So he said it on our aisle and I shouted back "Is that a sales pitch or a pick up line?" He just glared at me. I can't imagine why. Some people just need to lighten up. I mean how can he not see the double entendre in his spiel? Am I the only one who sees the perversion there? Maybe I just need to pull my brain out of the gutter for a minute or two. I can't help it though. I am the product of my perverted father. We can both make anything nasty. It's a gift.

Well this turned out better than I thought. I'm going to call it a day. I'll be back next week with more enlightening observations and my usual synopsis of the weekend. We're having another rooftop party during Saturday's game. I'm considering the possibility of using a little signage to bring attention to this Stan the Beerman controversy. I don't know if I want to get too involved in this mess though. Stay tuned to see if I cause a ruckus. Have a great weekend.