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February 26th, 2003

12:47 pm

Strap yourselves in for big time excitement on AudreysAudities.com com today kids. I just bought a Dr. Pepper and the label says I have a chance to win a Jeep Liberty Renegade and a trip to anywhere in the U.S. Woo hoo!!! Hello honeymoon! Oh yeah, there is nothing more thrilling than opening a pop bottle with an under the cap game - so I'm sharing the thrills with you. I'll be opening my bottle live as I write this so you can share in the thrill and excitement. Now, without further ado, let me just open the bottle and claim my prize... Ooh I can't wait... where should I go on my trip...? Hawaii sounds good... OK, the cap is off... "PLEASE TRY AGAIN" (you pathetic loser). DAMMIT!!!!! How could I not win? I just knew I was a winner. Oy ve, I am drowning in a sea of disappointment and failure. How can I possibly go on living...? OK, enough drama. Why am I acting so weird?

I saw a chick yesterday who was wearing black lipstick. What's the deal with that? I can't figure out why anyone would want to wear black lipstick. It looks crappy... on everyone. I have never seen a person in black lipstick and thought to myself "Hey that looks really good." It's jut not right.

I am so excited about this wedding business. And what makes it even better is that Randy is just as excited as I am. We're having a blast getting things planned. Randy and I picked out tuxes last night and got a totally smokin' deal. I just love a good bargain. I can't wait to see Randy and my Dad in tuxes. Dad's probably going to piss and moan because I'm going to make him wear a tux with long tails, but too bad. It's my wedding so he's just going to have to wear it and shut up. He's gonna look so cute...

I have to stop I'm getting all giddy and sappy and I can't get rid of my stupid grin. I don't know how to handle this sappiness that keeps creeping in. I've always been so anti-sap, but now I've become this silly, sap gushing queen. I hate people like me. We're so annoying. How can I keep this crap under control? Someone help me. Have a spectacular day!!!