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February 19th, 2003

12:49 pm

I know, it's been a while. But to make up for my neglect, I'm giving you 2 updates on 1 day. That's right you get today's masterpiece plus another one that I wrote a few weeks earlier but forgot to post. Enjoy!

I was out of town all last week. I went to South Texas to spend the week with my Grandparents in their RV. I was also craving enchiladas. Last year on my trip, my Grandparents took me to a restaurant in Mexico that has the best enchiladas ever made. These things were so tasty, I've been craving them ever since my first visit. Damn they're good. I wish I had some now...

Anyway, I had a great time again. We spent a couple of days kicking around in Mexico. I bought all kinds of crap. Last year, I didn't really buy much because I was so overwhelmed by the enormous quantity of crap for sale. There's just so much crap it's hard to focus. This year I was prepared and did some more serious shopping. I spent $15 just on pornographic glassware. I brought home some real classy stuff. If you're in the market for coffee mugs shaped like a naked woman's torso or shot glasses with Mexican cowboys showing off their "stuff" then Mexico is the place to be. I also bought some jewelry, hot sauce and a tortilla warmer. And of course, I stopped at my favorite restraunt, The Red Snapper, and had some enchiladas. Mmmmm. So, tasty... OK, I really should stop talking about those enchiladas.

I also happened to be in town for the big social event of the year at the RV park. A group, led by my grandfather, got together and staged a hillbilly shotgun wedding. It was ... odd. I reached the conclusion that retired people are easily amused, especially when the amusement is free. Don't get me wrong. The thing was damn funny and I even helped with the script some via email before I got there, but it was also very odd. All the wedding participants were great at keeping the big secret. Everyone in the park knew there was a wedding scheduled and that my grandfather was playing the wedding march on his fiddle. But that was all the information that was let out. There was a big debate raging around the park over whether it was a real wedding. About half thought it was a legit wedding. (One park resident who wasn't able to attend the ceremony even left a real wedding card congratulating the happy couple. I cracked up.) The other half of the park residents thought it was 2 dogs getting married. My Grandfather stirred things up even more by getting one of his cronies to start spreading gossip. She went around and told everyone she'd seen the bride running out to her car after a rehearsal at the clubhouse. On the day of the wedding, I went in with the rest of the audience. Over 100 people showed up to see what was going on (That's about 90% of the park and included several folks who rarely leave their motor homes. It was a very impressive turnout.) It was hard for me not to bust out laughing while in line to get in. I was listening to a group of women argue about who they thought was getiing married, dogs or people, real or fake. There was so much comedy there. The wedding itself was classic. The bride was played by real big 6 ft. 300 pound type of guy. The groom was a short, round Canadian dude. It was a riot listening to this guy with his Canadian accent trying to talk like a hillbilly. My Grandfather played the preacher and played the music on his fiddle. My Grandma was a member of the hillbilly band - she plays a mean washboard. All the costumes were great. It was all crap from Mexican flea markets. There was some real ugly wedding attire in this thing. The script had some good stuff in it too - lots of references to incest and sex with livestock. It was all the same hillbilly type stuff that you can see in every wedding that takes place in or near Stillwater, OK. (HA HA! OK OSU fans, simmer down. It's just a joke, and a lame one at that.) So the big wedding was a huge success and I'm glad I got to see it. It just amazes me what old people do for fun. What a bunch of nuts.

I also got to visit a place where the Rio Grande River makes a funny bend so that you can stand in the U.S. and look North across the river into Mexico. There's about a 500 yard stretch of the river that's part of a park. It doesn't sound real exciting, but it's kinda cool. I got a Twilight Zone kind of feeling looking North into Mexico. And even more strange, my Grandfather ran into some people he knows at this remote, little known park. I don't think he can go anywhere down there in Texas without seeing someone he knows.

Hmmm, I hope I'm not forgetting anything. That was pretty much the whole trip. I spent a lot of time just chillin' at the RV park and enjoying the warm weather. It was in the 80's all week. I watched some TV and my Grandfather taught me to play a bitchin' bluegrass tune on his fiddle. I also helped out with some computer troubles that some folks at the park were having. It was just a nice relaxing week. Oh, and of course, I spent a lot of time on the phone with Randy. It was tough on both of us to be separated for so long, but we survived. I was trying real hard not to drive my Grandparents up the wall with being on the phone all the time. It was a huge challenge but I think I did OK.

I guess I'll call it a day. Have a good one.