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October 9th, 2002

11:52 am

Last Friday night, I went to Octoberfest at Frontier City with my parents, the Whodinis, and Amanda and Bob. Apparently, Whodini just couldn't stand it that his wife's intoxication induced antics at the Fair made the updates, because he put on quite a little show at Octoberfest. So, here you go Whodini, an update all about you. Thanks for giving me something to write about.

So, we got in the line to ride the Ferris Wheel. It's one of those big ass Ferris wheels that have the gondola cars that hold six people. When we got in the line, we had 2 full pitchers of beer. By the time we got to the front of the line, (about an hour later), the beer was gone and the whining about having to pee had begun. So the six of us got on the ride (Bob had mysteriously vanished and didn't ride.) Mom and Mrs. Whodini were both in need of a bathroom. Whodini, who has to pee more than any man I have ever met, (He has to pee more often than my Mom, something I never thought possible), appeared to be moments away from a ruptured bladder. He said he was about to piss in his pants, so Dad offered him an empty beer cup. He looked pretty desperate, but I had no idea he was that desperate. It didn't take much arm twisting from my Dad to convince Whodini to use a cup. So we're up on a ferris wheel and Whodini jumps up on his knees, turns his back to us and fills up 2 beer cups. My dad was laughing so hard, I thought he was going to have a stroke. Amanda turned her head, closed her eyes and even covered her ears which kind of cracked me up. There was so much laughter going on, I'm certain people had to be looking around trying to figure out what was going on. I don't think anyone could've seen anything, but who knows. The last time that Whodini relieved himself in public, he got caught by a cop and got a ticket for disrderly conduct or something like that. So, understandably, he took off running the second we got off the ride just in case he had been spotted, but fortunately, he wasn't hassled by the man this time around. Mom and Mrs. Whodini also took off running, but they were in search of a bathroom since we ladies are at a disadvantage and just have to hold it in those situations. Dad is always telling me that the world is his urinal and to be quite honest, I'm jealous. It must be so convenient to just pee anywhere. Of course, it is also a bit uncivilized ... but damn it's sure convenient. Another thing that pissed me off that night was that every time we went to the bathroom, Dad, Whodini and Bob would come stutting out of the bathroom while Amanda, Mom, Mrs. Whodini and I were still outside the bathroom in a damn line. It's just not right.

I can't tell you how excited I am that the Yankees are out of the playoffs. Man I hate those bastards. I am sick and tired of hearing about how great the Yankees are and what a brilliant manager Joe Torre is. It's such a big load of crap. With the money the Yankees spend on payroll, I could manage them into the World Series. Sorry George, but the World Series isn't for sale this year. Conversely, I am pretty psyched about the Twins. They're the Anti-Yankees. They're getting it done with a tiny payroll and solid team ownership. I've never been a big Twins fan because their 2 World Series wins were both accomplished by winning only games in the Homer-Dome. I never felt like they earned the wins. I'd rather see a team earn it by winning on the raod, especially when it's a team like the Twins who have a huge home field advantage. But that's a minor quibble and it's tough to not have a soft spot for the Twinkies this year. Of course, I like the Angels too. They're another nice little underdog team. This is a pretty tough series for me to pick a side. The pick in the National League is easier. I've never liked the Giants, so I'm for the Cards all the way. But regardless of who wins the NLCS, I'll still be for the American League team in the Series this year. I'm really excited about the playoffs this year. It's great to see some new teams fighting it out instead of the usual appearances by the Yankees and Braves.

Last night I went out to eat with Mom and Dad. Yes, I shamelessly weaseled my way into yet another free meal. What can I say. I have a gift. Anyway, there was this loud mouth nearby who was driving me nuts. For some reason he started talking to the people at the table next to him and in their conversation discovered that he and one of the guys at the table had worked at the same place but at different times. So then they had this totally pointless and inane conversation about who they knew. It was something like this:

Loud Mouth - "Hey did you know Tom?"
Guy at next table - "Yeah, wasn't he a supervisor?"
Loud Mouth - "No, that must be a different Tom."

...Yada, yadda, yadda. This crap went on for 20 minutes. Grrr. Who cares? Just shut up already. I guess what bothered me most is that the loud mouth guy was so loud. It was like he was intentionally talking too loud so he could draw attention to the fact that he ran into someone he knows because he is just so important. Oy! What a boob. Then he went into a big sob story about how he was looking for a job and how he had a masters degree and couldn't find work. I just wanted to choke the guy.

Also during dinner, that stupid "Oh Mickey You're so fine..." song started playing. I think that might be the most tragic thing to happen during the eighties. What a crappy song. It really put a damper on my meal. Wow, I sure do complain about a lot of petty little things don't I? It probably gives the impression that I am an angry crackpot, but really I'm generally a very pleasant individual. I just like to blow off steam.

So, that's all I've got for today. I'll try to get back to doing more frequent updates, but I just haven't been doing much lately. It's hard to write about nothing. Later.