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October 4th, 2002

11:56 am

Yesterday, I mentioned that there was a humorous incident at the fair involving my dad and an intoxicated friend. The intoxicated friend in question has given me permission to share my version of the story since the version she heard wasn't that interesting. When you get right down to it, this might be one of those "you had to be there moments" but I will gladly share my take on the subject.

So, I went to the fair with my parents and our friends Whodini and Mrs. Whodini. We were just checking stuff out, eating a ton and having a few beers. Well, OK, the parents and the Whodinis were having a few beers. I am a total nerd and don't really like beer except on rare occasions. Beer just wasn't working for me that night so I had about half a beer. Anyway, somewhere after Mrs. Whodinis 5th or 6th beer, we were sitting in some grass eating for the tenth time that night. When we got up to leave, Mrs. Whodini had a little trouble getting up. Dad offered her a hand and tried to help pull her up. She managed to get to her knees before she lost it and started to topple over. Then she grabbed Dad around the waist and tried to pull herself up. She was there on her knees holding on to Dad with his crotch in her face as if she was about to give him a blow job. And all this took place in the big-ass middle of the Oklahoma State Fair with people everywhere. It was a very unfortunate position but totally hysterical and for me, slightly traumatic. So you see, not really that big of a deal, but kinda funny.

So why do I say that the incident was slightly traumatic? Well, as you all know, I have some strange issues about things. One of my issues involves my parents and sex. Now obviously, they had sex once because I am here after all. Then there are the three times that I heard the parents having sex when I was growing up. But otherwise, as far as I am concerned, they do not have sex - not with each other or anyone else. The thought of my parents involved in any kind of sexual activity is just too disturbing to bear. I just don't want to know or think about it. I mean they're my parents! So, due to my issues, the little incident at the fair brought up all kinds of unpleasant mental pictures. (Oh, the trauma - I'm reliving the whole thing. Eww!)

Of course, Mom and Dad think my issues are just hyterical, so they take every opportunity they can to try and traumatize me. What I wouldn't give to get through just one day without having to listen to my Dad talk about his genitals or how he'd like to get it on with some hot chick he sees on TV. I think the worst one is when Mom smarts off and Dad says "Blow me!" and Mom says "Maybe later." and then they both sit there and giggle while I run from the room screaming. (Yes, my family is very unusual. We really talk to each other like that and are always ripping each other and making cruel and perverted jokes. I am watering this down quite a bit for fear of offending someone and getting my site booted by my web host. If my parents and I had a sit-com, we'd have to be on cable.)

So there you go, the big incident finally revealed. I think my reaction to it is probably more entertaining than the actual story, but at least it was something to write about. Later.