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October 3rd, 2002

11:59 am

OK, so once again I've been totally lazy and my website has suffered. Sorry. I just go through spells. I've kind of been in a funk lately. Nothing I do seems to be interesting enough to write about. I'm so boring. It's not like I haven't tried to come up with material. I went to the fair expecting to find all kinds of freaks to write about, but the freak contingent was way down this year. I don't know where they all were. I only saw 2 people with funky colored hair and I saw a chick dressed in some wierd leather and chains hooker outfit. The outfit was bad, but the chick was also a bit overweight so that made things worse. But that was really it. Pretty mild stuff for the fair and barely noteworthy. The most interesting thing that happened at the fair involved my Dad and an intoxicated friend, but I promised the intoxicated person in question that I wouldn't discuss it. Of course, it is very likely that she doesn't remember the promise I made, so if I get desperate, maybe I'll tell the story anyway. It's really not THAT bad and it's pretty funny.
I've been thinking about some pretty random stuff lately so forgive me if this update seems like it jumps around alot and doesn't make sense.

Why do women act so stupid in bathrooms? Women do a lot of wierd stuff that I just don't get. Like, some women are so uptight about taking a dump that they will flush after every turd drops. I'm not sure why. Is this some kind of odor control tactic or what? No one likes having to take a dump in a public restroom, but sometimes it can't be helped. We've all been there. Why be so embarrassed about it. Just relax and do your business. Flushing repeatedly only draws more attention to yourself and you're not hiding anything. Everyone in the bathroom knows you're "dropping friends off at the pool." (Thanks to South Park for that lovely descriptive phrase.) Then there are the women who come into the bathroom, wash their hands for five minutes, then go to the bathroom and then wash their hands for another five minutes. Now, I'm all for hand washing, but what's with the pre-wash? That seems a little obsessive to me. And another thing that annoys me is women who just rinse their hands real quick without using soap. This one bothers me more than people who make no effort to wash at all. They're too embarrassed to just not wash so they do this totally useless quick rinse thing so that maybe other women in the bathroom won't think they're disgusting. Well, ladies, I'm still grossed out by your poor hygene plus I think you're a spineless loser who is too concerned with what other people think of you. If you don't want to wash, fine, that's your business, but at least don't be a pussy about it. Just walk out and stop trying to keep up appearances.

I came up with the perfect name for a dog should I ever get one that can be AKC registered. (Dad helped too.) But, I'm not telling you what it is cause you'll steal it and I'll be pissed. It's the perfect name for my dog. It's a tribute to ska music and TU, two of my favorite things. So why bother to mention it if I won't tell you the name? Well, good question. I guess I'm just that desperate for things to talk about.

Why hasn't anyone released the entire series of "Speed Racer" cartoons on DVD? There were only 52 episodes so it wouldn't be too hard. Plus, "Speed Racer" is a huge cult classic. There are all kinds of losers like me who would buy it. This really needs to happen. I miss Speed. Man I loved that show. I used to watch it 3 times a day when I was 5 or 6. Then it made a comeback on MTV and Cartoon Network while I was in college and I watched it again and still loved it. But now I haven't seen it on in several years.

You know, last night I was really pissed off about something and I wanted to bitch about it. But I was too lazy to go make myself a note and now I've forgotten what I was so pissed off about. Damn, that pisses me off!!!

Have you ever noticed that with sports broadcasting teams, the color guy is almost always so annoying that you want to reach in the TV and choke the guy? For example, there's Joe Buck and Tim McCarver on Fox baseball - Joe is good, Tim is a know-it-al piece of crap who really knows nothing and needs to shut the hell up. Joe morgan and that bald guy with glasses that does play by play on ESPN baseball - the bald guy is cool, but Joe Morgan is a know it all piece of crap who makes the same obvious point about 20 times before he moves on to make another comment that is blatantly obvious to the average sports fan. He also talks way too much about how great the Reds were when he played and how great Ken Griffey Jr. is. Newsflash, Joe - Jr. is a washed up has been who was never as great as everyone made him out to be. As for the Reds, yeah they were good, but shut up already. And there's Al Micheals and John Madden - Al is fine, Madden needs to shut up, but in fairness, John is much more subdued since moving to Monday Night Football and is tolerable now. Once when he was still on FOX, he spent a whole damn quarter of a football game explaining how to calculate the distance of a field goal attempt. He literally explained it 4 or 5 times. It's not that hard, John. Just settle down. I'm sure there are other examples. These are just the ones I've noticed lately. Oh yeah, I don't remember who the play by play guy is with Troy Aikman, but Troy is off to a very annoying start as a color guy.

Well, I give up. I just don't have anything to talk about. Sorry this one sucked so bad. They can't all be classics. Later.